I'm baaaaaack!

So, it's been awhile since I last posted. Three years to be exact. I was inspired by Chaya's recent blog to get back on and update my life blog style. I am currently teaching 3rd grade and love it! I have a great class that I'm in love with. They are really sweet and caring. I actually enjoy going to work.

On another note, I am getting ready to go to Europe. Super excited to visit and can't wait to experience life on the other side of the pond. Will post some pics and hopefully great stories after my return. I'm also looking to volunteer abroad this summer helping out wild life. Looking into Africa, Australia, Galapagos Islands or anywhere else that I find interesting and affordable.

Holla!

Happy tears

As I sit here and count down the days until summer (7 days), I can't help but cry. It's hard to see through all of the end of the year crap. Yes there is a lot of crap and it's not, in the words of a friend, "all water balloon fights and fun". Anyways, it's hard to see through that and realize that I only have 7 days left with these kids. I really didn't think I would be so attached, but I am. These kids have been with me for 6 hours a day for 180 days. They are all so special in their own way. They are so sweet to me and each other. They are smart. They are respectful. They are creative. They are fun. They are silly. They are my Monkeys. I'm sad and glad at the same time. Teaching really is hard work.

I forgot one thing...

I'm going to have to add "update blog template" to my summer to-do list. I'm totally old school and I really should apologize. This is unacceptable.

It's the little things

You know what's good about teaching?

All of the hugs I get all day long. Seriously-all day long. It's really good for my self esteem. Those kids are the most preciousest preciouses I've ever seen.

14 days until summer vacation. My plans for the summer? Sleep late, fix up the backyard so it doesn't look like a frat party, go to some trainings, visit Portland, watch daytime t.v., visit Florida, sleep late, learn to play the guitar and fiddle, go to the dentist, spend time with my mom and grandma, learn publisher, sleep late, enjoy the skin-melting-off-your-face heat, drink Dos XX in my new hammock I'm going to buy for the backyard, and read lots of books that aren't related to teaching in any way. Yup.

So, we step out of the car...

and there's all this cow shit. This was our first experience with the Snook Chilifest 2006.

Then we find out we have to walk a mile to get to the grounds. Ok, no big deal-you think. Until you try to roll your cooler over cowshit, puddles, mud, and rocks. In the dark. Angela and I each drank 4 beers in a feeble attempt to lighten the load. We had to gauge our parking spot by the number of parking lots we passed. One parking lot then a creek. Two parking lots then a pond. Three parking lots. You get the idea. I am so sore from carrying that damn cooler. The kind of sore that hurts even when you're using your foot for the accelerator while driving. So, this is Friday night. Once in the grounds, we posted up our shit, drank a few more and listened to some good music. Then, we trekked another mile back to the car.

Saturday was another story. We were on easy street. No cooler. No walking in the dark. No cow shit. And then there was great music.

If you can get past the cow shit, drunks batting beer cans into the crowd, port-a-potties, and college kids, it really is a good time.



Oh yeah, 35 days till summer. You can't see it, but I'm smilin'.

Done

I really don't want this blog to be all about teaching. But, damnit, it consumes me. Today I felt so hopeless. I can't help but feel like that sometimes. I am not the teacher I want to be. I'm trying. It is so draining that I really cannot give it anything else. This job is such a rollercoaster and I'm wondering if I'm strong enough to do it. Part of the time I think that maybe I'm not meant to do this, and then there are days that I think I am "Teacher of the Year" material. Not really, but you get the idea. It is so hard to be THE decisive element in the classroom. Sometimes I just want to sit at my big teacher's desk and put my head down. I guess I need more yoga.

I really am growing up

All it takes is one night of binge drinking to regress back to my teenage years.

Rodeo, $5 rum and cokes and asshole cowboys does not a party make. It was not pretty. I hadn't had one of those, "I'm never drinking again, I swear!" nights in a long time. Good riddance to that shit.

Night and day

It's funny. February has come and gone, and I forgot to celebrate the 1st year anniversary of getting laid off from my previous job (you know, the one working for the man and not the children). It's funny how time can slip away from you. I know it's so cliche, but I couldn't have imagined all this would have happened.

I'd like to take a few moments to compare/contrast the two jobs. If I could, I would totally use a Venn diagram to get my point across, but I'm not sure how to drag it into blogger. Yeah, it's like a Reading lesson up in here.

Similarities

-At my old job, I was the low man on the totem pole. Now I teach about totem poles.
-Politics.
-Miscommunications. This is a biggie. I’m sure we can all agree that there are people who just lack the skills to effectively communicate.
-Supplies-although the school does have a better assortment. We’re talking crayons and pencils galore!
-Meetings! My schedule is one big list of people to meet/talk/discuss/plan/collaborate/ with.


Differences

-Executive lunches. Now I’m lucky if I get to scarf my food and plan my Science lesson in 10 minutes.
-Lice. Nuff said.
-The hours. I do miss that hourly schedule. Now it’s to do lists and late nights.
-My kids. I do love them.
-Parents-they sure do have a lot of trust in me!
-Everyday is an adventure in my classroom. Seriously, you never know from day to day what the hell will happen.
-Men. There just aren’t any.
-R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y
-No lawyers.
-School psychologists.
-Behavior plans.
-Career Day.
-Field trips.
-Smoke breaks.
-My views on public education. I'm not going to get into all that, but there's some real shit out there.
-Lunch for $2.50. But somehow I still manage to rack up a $70 tab.



Just a few interesting tidbits.
Happy Laid Off Anniversary to me.

In other news:
-I have been reintroduced to my treadmill. Mucho gusto!
-I have also joined a Yoga class. Om.
-I have also joined a sand volleyball team. Go Sand Fleas!
-I am getting a hefty tax refund.
-Since I am getting a hefty return, I shall be saying goodbye to one of my Chase card accounts. So long sucka!

I woke up today and shook my fist in anger.

My 2 week "Winter Vacation" (formerly Christmas Break) is officially over. I must say that I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. I feel like I'm back to my old self. All the sleeping late and drinking has done me good. I got to do so many things on my break, but there were so many things left undone. Like laundry. And watching "The Aviator". And the computer room at my parents' house. Oh well, there's always summer.

This 2 week break is definitely more for the teachers than the students. Especially the rookies. I might have quit if it weren't for this break. Yes, it is that stressful. Or at least it is for me. But, alas, I am refreshed and ready to go. Especially since I don't have a full week of work for the next 5 weeks. Really. I have at least 1 day off during the next 5 weeks (now some of these days are training, but still!). Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Today was a good day.

Today I am 27. My birthday was spectacular. The day was filled with my wonderful family, friends and students. And a little "surprise party" that my students planned that I pretended to have no idea about. Actually it turned out to be a pretty big party that took up our whole afternoon. They had been planning it for months. One word--precious. I've really got to hand it to the 4th graders. They can be so sweet and thoughtful.

All of my immediate family visited me today at school. It was hilarious. Today's festivities included: a cake with monkeys, trick candles, tons of food, gifts, cards and phone calls from my homies, streamers, a new foot massager, a parcel from Portland, and lots of hugs. I loved every minute of today. Thanks to everyone who made my day so special!!

Post Thanksgiving Recap

Well, it really is hard to believe that Thanksgiving has come and gone. Especially when it's 80 freakin' degress outside.

It was a good one. Very laid back. Except for my brother getting stung by a wasp that flew in his beer. Yup. He couldn't eat his HEB pre-cooked Thanksgiving dinner until about 8 p.m. Poor thing.

On another note, I am antsy. I have been off since Wednesday and I really don't know what to do. I might have Adult ADD. Which would be AADD. I'm not sure. I guess I am so used to having no time that it's hard for me to just sit and be. Although this is what I've wished for, it's weird. It's not that I really want to go back to work either. I spent 6 hours up at school yesterday and cried about it. I just don't know how to manage my time. I spent 6 hours on 1 week's lesson plan and entering grades!? WHAAAA! Who AM I??

That's all for now. Good day.

Get out your Writing Journal

Reflection is a powerful tool. As I get home at 5:30 on a Wednesday night (I totally thought I’d be home by 4:00 for Oprah each day), I'm forced to think about where I am right now and where I've been. My job is fulfilling. It is also a ton of work. It is worth it when I hear my kids talk about something that they have learned or when I see them be so sweet to each other. Last year around this time I was filing papers and updating resumes online. Oh a whim (sort of) I decided to get my Teaching Certificate. My, my how I’ve come a long way. The work that I’m doing now actually impacts somebody and I am seriously earning every cent of my salary. I only hope that some of the stuff we’re doing in 4th grade actually sticks. This job has given me a whole new perspective. Some people just shouldn’t have kids. If you can’t give them a loving, supportive home life, just don’t have kids. It’s so sad and I want to take them home with me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m finally where I’m supposed to be and sometimes I feel like I’m a huge fraud. I’m actually learning in 4th grade too. It’s amazing how much I’ve forgotten-or maybe I never learned it. A favorite phrase of mine is, “What do you think?” This is code for, “I really don’t know, don’t ask me.” I am happy and amazed and tired and stressed and overwhelmed all at the same time. It’s a good feeling. It’s been awhile, so I almost didn’t recognize the happiness sneaking in there. But I’m glad it’s here and I hope it stays awhile.

I love my job, it’s my favorite time of year, and I bought a brand-new-fancy-pants mattress. Life is goooooood.

Here we go...

I. Am. Exhausted.

Most days I put in from 10-12 hours. There is so much planning, paperwork, grading, organizing, thinking, analyzing, modifying, reorganizing, and preparation that it is easy to lose sight of why I'm really doing this-summers off. No really, this teaching gig is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

My 4th graders are hilarious, though. It is really worth it. They think it's hilarious when I speak what little Spanish I know and they love it even more when I read in Spanish (my class is filled with Spanish speakers). They are fascinated about my life outside of school. They invite me to their games, birthday parties and such. They suggested that I go on eHarmony when they found out I wasn't married. They are PRECIOUS!

I just hope that through all the chaos that is my teaching, they're actually learning. You should have seen me trying to teach division. Good laaaawwwd! I think they finally got it. Maybe. Only the standardized tests will be the judge of that. :(

I'm limiting my nervous breakdowns to once a week. Seriously. But never in front of the kids. My team leader shared a story that she totally broke down in front of her kids during her first year of teaching. I haven't done that...yet.
Self discovery is a bitch. I'm learning that I totally don't deal with stress effectively. I'm trying.



In other news...

There is $100/month cable installed in the duplex that I'm not living in yet.

I bought a big girl bed. A pretty one.

I also bought a laundry sorter. You know, the kind that has 3 compartments. If you don't already have one, I highly suggest you pick one up. It has cut down on my laundry time considerably.

We have 2 new baby goats. Yesterday when I came home, they were both hollering. I thought that was odd, since they really only cried the first day they came to the house. I went out to check on them and one was caught in the fence with his little head on the other side where our 2 emus live. I didn't panic, being the country girl that I am. I quickly tried to get his little head and horns through the fence. He wasn't really cooperating. While I'm trying to free him, the male emu has suddenly taken an interest in what is going on (he didn't really care about the goat-just me). So, I'm trying to free the goat and the emu is sort of pushing up against the fence that is between us with his feet/claws right by goat's face. So, I'm a little worried that he is going to claw his little eyes out or something accidentally. So, I'm trying to get the goat out while pushing the emu back. Then, through the fence, he starts to peck at my head. And now I am getting pissed. I am cussing at this emu and pushing him away. At one point I was tapping on his beak with a rock and clapping to get him to leave me alone. He wouldn't quit. So, I decided to feed him and he finally left us for all of the two minutes it took me to free the goat. So, I get the goat free and the emu isn't hungry anymore and all is good. So, I get some treats to feed the llamas that have sort of freaked out during all the hoopla. They each get two treats. So, they've had their two treats and I'm going to walk away and..BAM! The fucking llama spit on me.

5th week update

It's the 5th week of school!!! I can't believe it. So much has happened. Next week I'll be finishing up testing my kids for their reading levels and entering grades and pulling my eyelashes out one at a time. Oh my god. I'm the teacher.

I had my first parent conference and I think it was a success? It was with one of my "behaviorally challenged" kids. I was positive. The mom was receptive. Her child sits away from the other groups facing my desk. Yeah-it's that serious.

Sometimes I can't take myself seriously. So much of my day is spent trying to outsmart 4th graders. We have a Voice Volume Chart. The other day I totally said, "Um, you're at a 10 and I'm going to need you at a 4." Who the hell really says that? Me, apparently.

Today we had a fire drill. I didn't have my class in my room at the time. I had another teacher's class that I teach Math. I didn't tell them that we were having a drill. You should have seen their faces. They did well.

I'm glad to say that Shark Bait has made a full recovery. It was touch-and-go for awhile there. Actually, I think he was dying. He was alive, but he was totally floating. He's a fighter. He just kept swimming down to the bottom of his bowl. His little fins were going so fast! I had to have the talk with the kids since I was afraid he wouldn't make it through the night. They were precious. They wanted to pray for him and have a "proper burial" if he died. One kid did say that it was just a fish and oh well if he dies. Little stinker! Anyway, I changed his water and cleaned his bowl and alas is alive!!

That's about all for now.

PS-If my life seems a little juvenile, that's because it is.

Anything but normal

Yup. That's it. My life has taken a drastic turn. A good turn, as far as I can tell.

Today was a great day (there have been many questionable days). I like my kids. I'm really starting to get to know them as people. It's great-they are so funny sometimes. Like little adults.

The beginning of the week is so smooth. Fridays are another story. I'm trying to get into the groove. It's been so tough. There have been tears. There has been laughter. There has been sleep apnea. There have been trainings out the ass. I'm doing the best I can, but half the time I feel like I'm in way over my head here.

On another note, the duplex is almost done and ready for us to move in. We have carpet. We have furniture (not without a confrontation with both The Roomstore and Lacks). Blinds are up...sort of. Now I have to find some time to pack-yeah right.

Things are good. I didn't feel that way the other day, but things are looking up. Cheers!

I survived!

Oh. My. God. The first day of school is hectic!!! But it was fun. I still feel like-this is my job?? Are you kidding me?

It was quite a funny day. I was so organized...then I was so unorganized. I learned many lessons today, even if my students didn't. Tomorrow should go a little better-at least that's what I've heard. It's so funny to hear my name-I almost didn't answer to it several times because it is so weird. I didn't lose any children, none of them cried, they seemed to have fun and they learned a few of our routines. I consider that a success.

PS-Our fish is named "Shark Bait".

I'm the teacher!?!?!

Since my new job (and I'm thankful everyday that I have it) is taking up most of my life (ok-all of it), I thought I'd post on my progress and my thoughts. Here it goes in list format:

1. My classroom is almost set up. I had no idea how tough this was. And time consuming. But hopefully it's a nice place they can come into and feel safe.
2. I have 'Meet the Teacher Night' in 2 days. And I'm the teacher. Oh my god.
3. I have really found out what stress can do to a body. I've never been so stressed in my life-or overwhelmed.
4. I haven't talked to my friends in awhile. That makes me sad.
5. I feel so lucky to have this job!
6. We're getting carpet in the duplex, so that means I don't have to work on staining the concrete floors. Hallelujah!!
7. I have met some wonderful people, most of which I'll be seeing everyday. Again-lucky.
8. I have my class list, along with records on them with their little pookie pictures on them. Adorable.
9. We will have a class pet. A fish. I'm going to let my students decide on the name.
10. I'm going to join our 'Improve the Planet' student organization. Should be fun.
11. Our class theme is a Jungle focusing on Monkeys.
12. As of last Friday, our school doesn't have a principal. What the shit?
13. I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time.
14. I know a handful of my students and they are AWESOME!
15. I'm scared of a bunch of 4th graders.

OVERWHELMED

That's all I have to say.

Am I alone on this?

It seems that I always have a tune in my head. There's always a song in the back of my mind. It just pops up. It may be one I heard earlier, or something that something else reminded me of, or some random song I can't make any relation to. Today's song was some song by Alan Jackson. Does anyone else have this problem?

Crazy busy

Lots of things happening around here. We're in the middle of an extreme home makeover on my grandmother's duplex so that my brother and I can move in. It's a major job. I'm also busy with school stuff trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing. I've started having nightmares about my class and how they are totally running wild and not listening to me. I'm also having nightmares about how I'm a cast member in the Real World Austin house. I only have a few more classes until I'm off in August and then I'll only go 3 times a month instead of 3 times a week. Things are hectic, but good. It's good to be alive in Austin, Texas.

PS-I won $500 at the bar last night. Can you believe it?
Have a safe trip Angela!