A Cracker Barrel Birthday

Today is my mom's birthday. Happy b-day mom!! First we headed to Cracker Barrel for some chicken fried steaks, then to Wal-Mart for some Paula Deen cookware, y'all, and then went home to enjoy each other's company. Here are just a few of the things I adore about that little lady:

1. The accent, it's awesome.
2. Everything I have ever done, she has been involved in. From piano lessons to softball to band.
3. The way she cares for her mom. I know it's not easy.
4. How she always waited until after my birthday to put up Christmas decorations. I always had my day, then Christmas.
5. She's the only other person I know that I can share shoes with.


When Cody and I were little we HATED to go shopping. My mom would drag us to Weiner's for some clothes shopping. Remember Weiner's? Anyways, we had to entertain ourselves. Kids are so good at that. So, we would hide from her in the middle of the circular clothes racks. We would run in and out, chase each other and hide. I know what you're thinking...'Where can I find this Weiner's store?' You're out of luck--they're not around anymore. My mom would get soooo embarrassed. Hee hee. She still brings it up to this day. Today at Wal-Mart we were tempted to hide from her but we couldn't find any racks tall enough. Love ya mom!!

Takin' it back a decade...or two

My mom is a gamer. Yes, she likes playing her Gameboy Color. Although the only game she plays is Tetris. She even has a light that helps light up the screen. She is serious, this one. Cody noticed on Thanksgiving her old one wasn't working as well as it used to. It has lasted around a decade. Today we took a trip down memory lane, or actually that street by Home Depot, to a gaming store that only sells old school gaming systems and accessories. He got her a brand new-to-her, used lime green Gameboy. It was great to be reminded of what video games used to be like. Just an A and B button, select, start and arrows. Ahhh, the simple life. There were power pads, original Super Mario Brothers, the Duck Hunt gun among other nostalgic surprises. I was tempted to blow on the old Nintendo games, for old times' sake.

Happy Thanksgiving ya morons!!

This is how we roll at my house. My dad, brother and I can be wildly immature and love a good word play as well as corny jokes. Like when Cowboys kicker Nick Folk attempted to kick a field goal, I said, "Don't Folk it up." Cody said it was a good one and I concurred. Then my dad says, "Meet the Folkers." I come back with, "I've known you since you were a little Folker." His name is Folk, not Folker, but that makes it even funnier. We all have a good laugh. All that comedy reminded me of a little trick I like to play on kids and adults. You ask someone, "What were you eating under there?" Hopefully they say, "Under where?" To which you respond, "Ewwwww! You were eating underwear?!?!" Side note-third graders love this. So of course I was all, "I'm gonna ask mom when she gets back! I'm gonna ask mom when she gets back!!"

The plan worked perfectly...she said 'Under Where?' right off the bat (most times it doesn't work out so smoothly!). Hee hee. So we all start laughing and saying 'Ewwwwww. Gross. You were eating underwear!?!?' She responds, in her best Texas accent, "Y'all are morons.", and doesn't even skip a beat watching the rest of the Cowboys game.

I am totally thankful for my family, friends and all the laughter in my life. Really, laughter makes me happy. There's nothing I'd rather do than laugh till it hurts with someone I love by my side! :)


Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!

Rehab Part Deux

Today when we went to see Mama we were greeted with..."God damn. I'm so proud ya'll are here." Then there were tears. If only all of my entrances in life could be so enthusiastic. Going to the bank..."God damn! We never thought you'd come back!! Thank God you're here." The classroom..."We're so proud you're here. We really appreciate all it took for you to come teach us!" Walking through the automatic doors of Target..."Yay! You're here. We thought you forget about us!!" Can you even imagine? I can and it's pretty amazing.

After that greeting it was all downhill. First she wants to get up, then she wants to lay down. She wants to go eat, but fights us the whole time and won't eat. She wants to go back to her bed and go to sleep, but then in bed she only wants to get up. Then when we want to leave because she's not behaving, she wants to go home with us. And she will not go quietly. She screams as if we're abusing her. "Pleeeeeeze don't leave me here! Lacey Renee don't you leave me here!!" And then, you guessed it--the tears. First my mom and I found it kind of comical--her will of steel. Then it's just hard to deal with. My mom comes from the old school of 'quityerbitchin and deal with it'. So, when she wouldn't listen, my mom just said, "Ok. Then we're leaving." So she finally agreed to sit at the dinner table after multiple nurses told her she had to be up for at least 30 minutes. She scarfed her dessert--of course!! Then I put some sugar in her tea and we left. There were tears again, but we just had to. She is hell bent on running things in that hospital. We thought it best to leave it to the professionals (or at least strangers she won't test--yet!!).

It must be pretty hard. Giving up all control. But who knew she had this in her. At least she hasn't lost her zest for life--if that's what we can call it! My cousin's little girl can also be very stubborn. She's in 1st grade. At least we know she gets it honestly. And, who are we kidding--so do I.

She is being moved on Wednesday to another rehab nursing home. I will keep you posted on the next installment of "Grandma Rehab". God love her soul. :)

A whole new me

So the last two days have been pretty unbearable with just how sore I am from boot camp (although our drill sergeant, ahem-trainer Anne, doesn't like to call it boot camp). I mean I have been sore before. Actually I'm sore almost everyday. Between boot camp and softball, this body is taking a beating. But the last two days have been brutal. My aching quads and butt are keeping me from moving around at any speed other than 80-year-old. I literally say "Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod." every time I get up. You know it's bad when you use children as objects to push off of so you can stand upright. I have also decided that eating and drinking once I'm already sitting down just aren't worth it. First there's the getting up, then the walking, then the sitting back down. So not gonna happen. It has also affected my sleeping habits. Like, once I commit to a position, that's it. There is no rolling over, flipping or stretching.

I'm planning to go walking in a little bit. Partly because I just had a breakfast taco and coke, partly because I won't have boot camp for one whole week, and partly because I'm hoping some of these muscles will have no choice but to loosen up. I also have a massage later today, not sure if it's a good or bad thing. Hope the therapist doesn't offend easily. I plan to use the Lord's name in vain plenty of times. Oh. My. God.

Thiiis is how we doooo it...

Today we had a softball tournament. Started at 9:00 am! That's running, hitting, yelling, and throwing at 9:00 am!! Here's how it went down:

Game 1--We won! We won! AND we came from behind. No, not like that--get your mind out of the gutter. We were losing, then we got some more runs!

Breakfast taco time.

Game 2--We lost. To the losers bracket we go. Was a little frustrating because we were just as good, if not better than the other team. Our fielding was awesome. We just couldn't score the runs we needed to win the game. You see, that's how the game works. Get some runs, win the game. Didn't do it that time.

Sausage wrap time! Hydrate!!

Game 3--We won! Played the same team we played in Game 2. That's a weird coincidence. Oh well. THIS time we did hit and our fielding was good too. It really works out if your team is good at batting AND hitting and you do both well in the same game. Yay for us! If we would have lost, that would have been it.

Only had a 15 minute break this time.

Game 4--Semifinals. We lost. The other team was just better. That's it. No finals for us.

We did try our best. I was really proud of our team!! I did say on the way home that I wished we would have gotten some stickers or something for coming in 3rd. Just a little something for our effort.

THIS is how you educate and inspire

Today for our writing fluency practice we did a quick write on the following prompt "Write a story about young people that get lost in a cave."

Only in my class would the following happen. Kid you not, two stories from my class, I'm paraphrasing of course.

Story #1: Ms. Marwitz and her friends were walking in a cave one day. They all got separated. Then Ms. Marwitz was walking on her own. When, out of nowhere Michael Jackson jumped out. She was very happy because she is a big fan. Then they started dancing together, she always wanted to dance with Michael Jackson! They did the Thriller dance. Later on when she told her friends, they were all jealous because they were all fans too.


Story # 2: Some young kids were walking in a cave. They came to two tunnels. They decided to take the left tunnel. Michael Jackson was dancing to Thriller in that tunnel. They got so scared they ran out!


Side note: I promise that I am not starting a Michael Jackson cult. I just teach them the Thriller dance, but only if they want to learn it. And it's not tied in any way to their grades. Sometimes we dance to his music on Fridays or when we get rewards. I also do not grade them on their dancing skills. Thankfully.

Menace to Society

I have to share what's going on with my grandma. Last Friday, she fell and broke her let. Her leg! When you're 83, and you fall and break your leg it's kind of a big deal. Not like a little stress fracture from doing I-don't-know-what or stepping off a sidewalk and spraining your ankle. When you're 83, your bones just break. Snap! We saw a demonstration about it on The Doctors on Monday. They were talking about Osteoporosis.

Well, Mama is STUBBORN! Apparently in the hospital the first night they caught her trying to get out of her bed and she was gonna leave. Go where? Who knows. She hasn't even driven in decades and I'm pretty sure buying a bus pass is out of the question. So now she has to be restrained. She doesn't follow directions and the poor lady has straps on her wrists tying her to the bed so she doesn't escape. Today she is moving to a rehab hospital for several weeks of rehab. I hope in rehab they have her on a shorter leash or restraints. Plus, PLUS, she is a chain smoker. Can you even imagine what she's going through? No smokes? Whoa. That may or may not be the definition of hell. I'll let you be the judge of that.

I just hope she has a speedy recovery and gives 'em hell in rehab. Ha!

Uranus, my second favorite planet

So today we started learning about the order of the planets. I didn't just tell them the order. No, that would be too easy!! What would NASA say? I tell you what they'd say, they'd say "Challenge these kids! Make them think so we can have them come work for us and maybe send them to space!" And my response would be..."Ok. But do I get to pick who goes? I got a few I would like to go today." I know this because we had a videoconference with NASA. They did not say that, but I bet they would have if we had some more time to chat. They did however, set us straight on the proper pronunciation of Uranus.

Today they had to figure out the order of planets from the sun by looking at the distance from the sun in kilometers. Then they had to order them nearest to farthest from the sun. Sounds easy, but we don't learn the billions or millions place value. And some of these planets are faaaa-aaaar. So you see how important it is to hand pick the groups I put them in, so at least someone in the group has a clue what's going on. As we're reflecting on what they did, the topic of Uranus comes up as it always does in "space talk". Way back in my elementary days I learned "your anus". Totally appropriate "space talk". Well, nowadays you say "your uh nus". So I'm open. I'm with it. I'll call it "your uh nus" if you want me to, NASA. So as I'm writing it on the board, there are snickers and whisper talk of "your anus". They don't know how to spell "because" but they know what an anus is? I know. Beyond me.

After writing Uranus, I say (in my best 3rd grade nanny nanny boo boo voice), "Nuh uh, it's "your uh nus". That's what NASA says."

So to NASA I say this, that which we call a Uranus by any other name would smell as sweet.

Once upon a time, there were three tricks.

They decided to go camping one weekend, out in the wilderness, of course. These three tricks were very different, but got along really well.

One trick was named "Ridiculous Trick". She got her name for her uncanny ability to point out the ridiculousness of situations or behavior. When the two other tricks got so freaked about an animal that grazed their campsite, swearing it was walking on two legs (maybe the chupacabra?!) do you know what she said? You guessed it! "Ya'll are ridiculous!!".


The second trick was named "Boss Trick". She got this name by being able to "handle it". Anything that comes her way, she's right on top of that Rose! She's the trick you go to when you want to get shit done. She was in charge of the drinks on their camping trip. She's also in charge of the social committee at her school.


The third trick was named "Thriller Trick". She got her name because she loved Michael Jackson. Some would say that she may have even had a crush on him when she was little. She knows the Thriller dance and will perform it if you ask. She has also been known to practice her moonwalk in her kitchen.


These three tricks had a great time camping. There were drinks, dancing (thriller and the jive!), and lots of laughs. And they lived happily ever after...






Love ya tricks!!