Learning to read fluffy

The other day in my class I pulled a small group to practice reading fluently. We're reading a book about Jacques Cousteau. I just love saying it too, "Jacques Cousteau group, come meet me at the table!" Except it's "Jjjjjaaaawk Cuuuustoooo". Love it.

Anyway, as any good teacher will tell you, my ultimate goal is to get them to do things independently and reflect. So as we're reading, I'm asking why it's important to practice reading familiar texts or plays. I'm playing a sort of fill-in-the-blank game. Like, "Who can tell me why it's important to practice reading? Hmmmm?" No one answers. "Ok. We're practicing so we can read..." Blank stares. "So we can read...it starts with an f..." To which I get the response, "FLUFFY!!

There it is. The future. Reading fluffy.

San Francisco Job Fair, Episode Three

A full day of interviews is not for the faint of heart. By the last interview I was wiped out!

Here's how it all panned out:

Colombia--awesome school and director but they had no definite elementary openings. Awwww man! That's alright.

Turkey--wasn't even CONSIDERING this part of the world. In fact, I was trying to stay away from anywhere near the middle east. Everyone said how amazing it is, so I thought I'd give it a try. Well, the job was only teaching English 3-4 40 minute sessions a day. Sounds easy right? But they may not speak any English. Doesn't sound so bad until you start thinking that you have to command their attention, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING. Regular classroom management skills do not apply. Plus, the school was a national school, and most people only speak Turkish at the school. I thought I might have a hard time assimilating into the school culture and the real culture. Still thinking it sounds ok? Well, did I mention they told me that Turkish parents do not discipline their children? And that little Johnny and Suzy are considered like gods in their parents' eyes? Yeah, um no. Turkey is out. That's alright.

China--a workaholic society. Have I said enough here? First year teachers working until 6, 7 or 8 at night. That's alright. Next!

Korea--pretty cool school and very cool director and principal. Very laid back at the interview. It is a brand new school, so no definite positions yet. Man!! That's alright.

Ecuador--neat school. Now by this time I am just exhausted. And so are the people interviewing. They pretty much made all the offers they wanted and were just seeing me as a formality. Plus, they weren't even looking at me while I was talking. I'll be the first to admit that what I was saying wasn't profound, but still! I was getting off track from what I was saying because they were distracting me with their distraction. Shoulda called a spade a spade in the beginning of the interview. This just isn't gonna work out, is it? That's what I thought. That's alright.

So after 5 interviews on Sunday with no other job offers (Totally ok!! Wasn't meant to be.) I accepted the job in Honduras. Yay!! I'm going to Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

Episode Two, Part Two

Socials rock. Well, not "rock" per se, but mostly. I got offered a job in Honduras for 4th grade. An offer means that you have 24 hours to accept or reject. I said I needed some time to think about it. I do have 5 interviews tomorrow. But Honduras does sound like an amazing experience.

So, two glasses of wine, some chocolate mousse and two cheese cubes later, I have an offer. Yay!! Yes, I said only 2 glasses of wine. Just call me Ms. Moderation. Mucho gusto!

San Francisco Job Fair, Episode Two

Today is much more low key. I had one 'interview'. It was with a school in Honduras. I use quotes because I have already had an interview via skype with this director. It was more like I just asked some more questions this time. We both like each other very much and are at the top of each other's list. I should hear something about the job later today or tonight.

A few interesting tidbits from the interview.
Director: So, you are ok with shared housing?
Me: Yes, I think it could make it easier adjusting to the move.
Director: Do you know how to drive a stick? (The teachers share a car. Obviously it's a stick. Uh oh.)
Me: No. Man! I always knew that would come back to bite me!! (Except now that I'm looking back on the interview I'm panicking and thought I might have finished that thought. You know the saying...'Come back to bite you in the ass!" But judging by her reaction at the end of the interview I did not say 'ass' in my follow up. Whew.)
Director: That's ok. You can learn on campus. But Tegulcigalpa is very hilly.
Me: (Cut straight to me panicking about how I've got to learn standard before I get there!!)

Double ridiculous. I am aware of this.

On another note, tonight is the social. We get one free drink ticket. I've got to make it an early night, so no partying like it's 1999 for me. My interviews start at 8:30. Here's the order: Colombia, Turkey, China, Korea and Ecuador. Crazy! I am ready to just know already! The suspense is very...suspenseful. You know what I mean. I'm tired. Going to relax before the social.

San Francisco Job Fair, Episode One

So I flew into San Fran yesterday. Although that seems like ages ago! Really, it was only yesterday?? Yesterday was about getting the bearings and lots of LA Ink episodes in the hotel room. And I also went out to eat at a restaurant by myself. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. A real life restaurant where I went to eat. By myself. I know some people think that's no big deal. Not me. HUGE deal. And awesome.

So, today there was A LOT of action. Workshops galore that started at 9:00 am. And an interview with a school in Vietnam. More informational sessions galore. Then an "interview sign up" that was some sort of international teaching pandemonium. Not really, but it is all a blur. When asked, "What sessions have you gone to?" I replied, "All of them. I'm beginning to think that was a mistake." Apparently not everybody thought they had to go to all the sessions. Not me, I went all out. Went to every session that they offered and went to some schools I wasn't considering. Really guys, it was about 10 hours of 'sitting and getting', as we refer to it in the teaching world. Just sitting and listening to schools and presenters. Very informative, but exhausting. It's 10:00 pm and I'm ready for bed. Time for some night-nights.

At the end of the day I can say: I met some really cool people, I got 7 interviews, I learned a lot about Turkey, I am more outgoing than I thought, and I think I am ready for this crazy adventure. I'll keep you posted!!

Typical morning activities

As if "waking the baby Jesus" isn't enough for our morning meetings. Today in our morning meeting I look over to see one of my girls lounging on this little bean bag we have. Her shirt is up a little bit and hanging out of her belly button is a pencil. She totally stashed her pencil (the eraser side of course!!) in her belly button. What a great idea. They don't mention that when you buy school supplies. Like, "Number 2 pencils, fit right in your belly button!" or "Tired of losing your pencil in writing class? Stash it in your belly button for safe keeping." or (and this one is more likely to happen in my class), "Teacher won't give you pencils to try and teach you a lesson in responsibility and conservation of supplies? Just keep 'em in your belly button and you can't go wrong." If they're following the green revolution, "Who needs pencil boxes, bags or zipper pouches. Use your own belly button!!" Okay, that's enough, but you get the idea.

The lesson of yesterday is not lost on me, I silently guffawed inside my head to myself and turned to look if anyone was witnessing this. No one was. It was just me. I wanted someone to at least share a quick confused look, smirk, or something. Really. Hilarity ensues on a daily basis. Sometimes I really think, this is my job?? Love it.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that?

Today at our morning meeting one of my students informed us of what he did over the weekend. Goes a little something like this...

Student: Well, my dad and sister are god parents. So they woke me up early. And we had to go and wake up the sleeping baby Jesus.
Me: You had to go do what?
Student: We had to go wake up baby Jesus. All the way in Dallas.
Me: Like the real baby Jesus? Like baby Jesus, baby Jesus??
Student: Yes, we had to go wake him up.
Me: I'm confused.
Other student #1: I'm confused too.
Other student #2: I don't know what's going on.
Me: Okay. Can you explain it one more time?
Student (in total seriousness, now): We had to go wake up baby Jesus. He was all the way over in Dallas.
Me: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Now, judging by the look on that students face, this was not an appropriate reaction. I quickly recovered and asked for one more explanation to clarify. Same response. I still didn't get it. Moving on.

I wasn't laughing AT that student, it just sort of came out. It was funny how the whole class just couldn't wrap their heads around what in the world he was talking about. Maybe his family did have the real baby Jesus, or at least someone who looked like him?

I don't know. Note to self, don't laugh at any more baby Jesus stories.

PS-Another student finally came up with that it must have been a statue. And of course that cleared EVERYTHING up. Not.

Touche

Today as I'm getting ready to put BRAAAAAND NEEEEWWWWW books in our classroom library, I'm saying the titles of the books so the kids know what they're in store for. I wouldn't want them to overlook such gems of books because they didn't know they were there! I'm all, "We have Bad Case of Stripes, Chrysanthemum , and Hooray for Earth Day!." As I'm starting to say the titles, kids are starting to move closer to me and are starting to hover. Kind of like buzzards. Buzzards over books. So as I'm finishing up, I say, "Also we have D is for Democracy, Strega Nona, go-sit-down, and First Day Jitters." Without skipping a beat, one of my super smarty pants kids goes, "Go Sit Down, I've already read that book. No thanks."

And I'm thinking-already read that? Go read it again. You didn't understand it.

Not a fan

To the debt collection agency that proceeds to leave messages daily, has "important personal business" for me, is fake nice until you actually speak to someone, who is calling to find MY OLD NEIGHBOR!!, please, for the love of GOD, stop calling my house. You are the reason I'm getting rid of my home phone. Eat it.

And no, I'm not giving you my cell phone number. I will not be friends with you on facebook nor will I follow you on twitter. If you were a facebook page, I would not be a fan. So there.